So This Is Thirty
You guys. It’s here. This is it. I’m THIRTY. And you know what? It’s amazing.
I was a little hesitant to write this post because I know it could come off a little braggy, but I think it’s actually so important, so I’m here for it. You guys, thirty is awesome. But it has absolutely nothing to do with being thirty.
At the beginning of the year I was actually struggling HARD with the idea that I was coming up on that age that you’re supposed to have your life together… dream job, spouse, kids, buying a house, a boat, khaki pants, and all other adult things. I didn’t realize how much I was resting in the fact that being wild and free and broke is “what your twenties are made for”. But then you’re supposed to just switch into “grown up” mode in your thirties and carry on like you know what you’re doing. But me… I just moved to a new state with no job, no man, and no khaki pants. Classic twenties move.
To be honest, even at the beginning of the month I was getting a little squirm at the thought of taking on a new decade in my current state of affairs. But praise Jesus, He broke me out of it, and as I sat at the table with my sweet friends and roommates just a few days before my birthday, I realized that I’m in the best place I’ve ever been. And it has nothing to do with status or work or money or ANYTHING except that I’m so fulfilled by Jesus and His love, and I’m truly learning to love who He’s made me to be.
So there we sat. And Kala said those awful words that would make any person cringe, “Let’s all go around the table and say something we love about Bruk!”. And though I tried to joke my way out of it, it happened. And it was beautiful. And as I listened to what my loved ones had to say I couldn’t help but fall in love with the woman they spoke of. In the moment it felt like they were talking about a friend, but as I laid in bed that night, it suddenly hit me that it was me. I was the girl I was falling in love with. And I barely slept that night, overcome with tears of thankfulness for how He’s shaping me and where He has me.
There’s something wild that happens when you take a step back and look at your life through someone else’s eyes. When you see yourself as a friend instead of your worst enemy. When you give yourself the same grace and compassion you’d give anyone else. It’s really when you start to see yourself through God’s eyes that the freedom comes. When you start believing what He says about you more than anything else. It doesn’t matter if you’re twenty, thirty, or ninety-two. You’ll actually love yourself. You’ll know exactly how worthy you are. And it’s pure magic. Embrace it.